


Evanesce

by Akakurotrash



Category: bts
Genre: Angst, Depression, Heartache, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 08:56:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12578200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akakurotrash/pseuds/Akakurotrash
Summary: Evanesce meaning pass out of sight, memory or existenceJimin is in love with Jungkook.But Jungkook is in love with his best friend, Kim Taehyung





	Evanesce

I saw you with him, all smiles and heart shaped eyes. Do you know how painful it is? To see the one you love with another.

 

I know, I'm not good for him. He is perfect, a masterpiece, an ethereal beauty and me? I'm dull. I have no life. I'm the one lingering in the shadows. I'm not good, I'm never good.

 

His smile is beautiful, his eyes sparkly and bright, his voice soothing to hear, his figure tough but lean. The way his arms wrapped tightly around the other. I just wish it was me.

 

Why am I the always chosen last? Why am I always left alone? Why am I always keeping my hopes up, thinking he'd finally notice me?

 

He is happy. He is smiling happily. He is in love. In love with another....

 

I am thrown away. Unwanted. I thought I would be the one but I wasn't. Why, why do I keep believing he wants me? After all, I am nothing.

 

Where was the shy boy who kept asking for me? Where was the innocent face who would always look up to me with a shy smile? Where was the constant calling for my name?

 

Please, stop keeping me near. It is so hurtful, to see you with him. Leave me please, it's already suffering.

 

I want you. I need you. I want to hold you and tell everyone you are mine, but...you aren't.

 

I hate him. I hate him so much. He is taking you away from me. Why, why must you leave me? Wasn't I the one you want? Wasn't I who was always here for you? Why...why are you letting me go?

 

The way he tightened his arms around you while we were eating. The way he kissed your soft looking lips while we were watching the movie. The way he tilted your chin up as we gazed up at the starry sky.

 

I wish it was me. I wish it was me holding you, kissing you, cherishing you.

 

I am a coward. I was wrong. I am stupid. I should have confessed sooner but why am I so dumb? Why did I let him have his chance with you? I love him, my best friend, my dear best friend. I vowed I will do anything for him to keep a smile on his face. When he asked for you, when he talked about you with big eyes and a soft voice, when he looked at you with nervousness, I had to. I had to give him to you.

 

The day where he proposed and you said yes, the day where he presented the most beautiful ring ever and sliding it onto your finger, the day where he kissed you with a happy smile and tears sliding down his face. I knew, I had to let go.

 

But why am I hurting? Why do I keep torturing myself? Why do I keep thinking I will have your love?

 

Why does it hurt seeing you walking down the aisle to him? Why do I feel like breaking down when you smiled the prettiest smile to him? Why do I felt like dying when you said yes? Why was I crying painful tears when he slid the ring on your finger and kissed you?

 

Now you are gone, my sunshine is gone. Now you are away, building a family. Now you are happily singing a sweet happy birthday to your son.

 

I am here stuck, in my imaginations. I am here stuck, hurting myself. I am here stuck replaying the painful memories over and over again. I am here stuck creating happy memories with you in my mind.

 

I stopped. I stopped thinking. I stopped feeling. I stopped everything because at the end of the day, it was only a lie to myself. A lie I will never escape.  _An evanesce_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like this book. I just feel kinda depress so yeah, hope you give it some love


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